from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
