i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
