I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
