A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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