My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am midnight drunk by noon
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
