mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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