apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
why is half of my head shaved?
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