I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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