I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
