careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
