Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
