i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
there is glitter all over my balls
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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