your parents love me but you hate me
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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