when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
