Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize