Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
