The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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