I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
