shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I need a burrito and a hug.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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