I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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