I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
