no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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