I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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