Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
A+ Viking dick
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
