she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
