And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
