my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
