Don't you send me to vm
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
