woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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