My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize