We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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