Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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