Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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