You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
