for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We just shotgunned beers for America
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
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after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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