I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
