yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
