at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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