Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
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I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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