Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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