I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
