dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
