worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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