My balls are so social today.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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