Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
