its not stalking. its research.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
