Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
