You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Randomize