Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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