Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
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she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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