it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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