I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
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I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.