brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet