Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
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Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo