2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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