I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
