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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.

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• (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  pills.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  When in doubt, it's too much cheese

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day

  (1-226): View more from Ontario

  Who do you have class with??

  (226): View more from Ontario

  The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo

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