real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list