Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i now understand why vodka
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
