Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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