Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
