she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
