My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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