She said her name was "party"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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