Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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