That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
