Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
