Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
