i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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