Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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